You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
