oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
