It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
