I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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