I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
