Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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