3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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