i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
