I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize