Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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