Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
