I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
