So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
