tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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