After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
