He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
