Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
