It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
