Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
