the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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