I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
