yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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