Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
