i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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