CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
