my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
