Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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