Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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