how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
