Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm always down for nudity.
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