google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
