are you still at the devil's house?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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