The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
