RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Bring me that man meat
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
