sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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