He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
