Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
