We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
