I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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