adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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