I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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