im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
