sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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