I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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