got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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