Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
its liver damage thursday
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
