Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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