the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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