another moral hangover. fuck.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
