You smell like stripper and shame
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He passed out mid-signature
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
