Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
