office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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