Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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