Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
