It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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