and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My dick has a subreddit
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
