By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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