Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
