so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
