I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Found your dick twin last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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