Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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