a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
