This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize